Uneventful Alleyway
by just a rambling romantic
Summary: RENBYA. This is the oneshot in which Assisstant Captain Abarai Renji acquires a black kitten and some how ends up sleeping with Captain Kuchiki Byakuya. This is proof that good things DO happen to redheads.


_a/n: Guess what? I should be working on my other fics, but I'm not! D Anyway, we NEED **MORE RENJI/BYAKUYA**!! I likes my Renji as seme! D: so that's an order... GET TO IT!_

_(oh, and as a quick note, I use 'captain Kuchiki' instead of 'Kuchiki-taicho' unless They're saying it. I dunno, I just get tired of reading/typing kuchiki-taicho over and over and over... no matter how much fun it is to say aloud... go ahead, say "Kuchiki-taicho" five times fast... Wasn't that fun??) _

_Oh, and this is MY first renbya/bleach fic, so be gentle. ;D_

* * *

Renji's day had been fairly uneventful up until the moment when he had come across a tiny black kitten in an alleyway.

Earlier that day he had walked into Captain Kuchiki's office, intent on asking just where the hell did all the tape go to, and encountered an empty room. A little pink slip of paper was aligned neatly in the center of the desk with Renji's name face up on it. On the back was a letter written in perfunctory penmanship explaining that Captain Kuchiki had decided to take a small trip to the human world to pay Rukia (and that orange-haired barbarian) a visit.

It was no secret that any grudging respect Byakuya had for Ichigo was gone the moment Ichigo had asked Rukia if she would "like to go get coffee some time"—if you grasp my meaning.

Undoubtedly he had gone to try and knock some sense into Rukia's head on her choice of company.

Renji did not envy Ichigo.

The rest of his day was spent in varying levels of boredom. At one point he even cleaned Captain Kuchiki's office to sparkling perfection (not that it wasn't spotless already, but it's the thought that counts). Finally around lunch, as he finished off a sandwich of lettuce, tomato, and turkey, Renji slipped into a daydream.

It was about Byakuya, of course. Almost the majority of soul reapers had had _at least_ one wet dream with Captain Kuchiki starring in it.

At least that was what Renji told himself.

_I mean seriously, he's pretty much the fucking _definition _of a wet dream! It's perfectly normal to wake up with a boner because you've been dreaming about screwing your captain into the ground... right_?

He was interrupted when Rangiku barged into his office with a jug of sake and a smile.

"Come on, Abarai!" she crowed, grabbing him by his ponytail and yanking him painfully to his feet, "We're gonna play cards!"

Hitsugaya's office was probably one of the most comfortable offices in the seretei. The couches were soft and comfortable enough to sleep on—Renji suspected that Rangiku was the reason for the choice of furniture.

Izuru, Momo, Nanao, and Shunsui were waiting for them when Rangiku flung open the doors to Hitsugaya's office. Shunsui, Izuru, and Momo's boisterous greetings indicated that there was already one bottle of Sake open.

The scratching of a pen and the bob of white hair behind a tower of papers was the only indication that Captain Hitsugaya was present.

Renji took the cup of sake Shunsui offered with good cheer and launched immediately into a raunchy joke that had his audience gasping for air with laughter, even Hitsugaya couldn't hold back a snort of disbelief.

If there was one thing Renji could do better than anyone else, it was keep a crowd entertained. He basked in their attention like a flower in the sun. He only wished he could dazzle Captain Kuchiki like he could this little crowd. Unfortunately, his tongue seemed to want to spit out stupid things every time he was alone with Byakuya.

Renji blinked and it was dark outside. Momo was passed out on the couch, her head resting on Rangiku's shoulder. The sake bottles were empty. Shunsui snored softly next to Renji.

A gust of wind burst through the open window, sending papers flying everywhere—much to Hitsugaya's dismay. Renji's uniform stuck to his skin from the humidity of the room, but the breeze felt delightful on his skin as he and Hitsugaya jumped up to close the window.

When he returned to his seat, Nanao was shaking Shunsui awake.

"Come on, Captain," she groaned in annoyance as the wind beat against the window, "I want to beat the rain home!"

"Nanao, my sweet, my dove, my house is closer than yours, why don't you spend the night with me?" Shunsui crooned and received a bruise for his trouble.

The captain looked up at Renji with baleful eyes, "You see what I have to deal with?" he turned to Nanao and jabbed a thumb in Renji's direction, "I'm sure Abarai here, with all his charm and wits and good looks has someone warming his bed at home right now, but what will I have? Alas! Nothing!!" Shunsui lamented, fake tears glistening in his eyes.

Renji felt something in him snap. What the hell did Shunsui know about him? Nothing! He had no idea that every single blasted time he opened his mouth around Byakuya there was absolutely _nothing_ charming or witty about what came out of his mouth. His looks weren't even up to par with Byakuya's, so why should Byakuya even spare him a glance. Hell, he didn't even know if Captain Kuchiki was _into_ men!

Each thought poisoned his heart a little more.

"You have Ukitake-taicho to keep you company," he spat acidly, "so excuse me if I don't seem sympathetic."

The room went very silent for a moment and all eyes turned to him.

"You mean... you don't have a girlfriend?" Rangiku looked puzzled.

"N—it's none of your business!" he hissed, beginning to stand. Izuru pushed him back down.

"What about a boyfriend?" Renji hadn't even noticed that Hitsugaya had taken a spot across from him next to Momo. Hitsugaya's unnaturally icy eyes made him uncomfortable.

"No!" he answered a little too quickly.

The others accepted his answer without suspicion, but a flicker of understanding flashed across Hitsugaya's face.

The coffee table separating the two couches had a secret compartment in it. Hitsugaya opened it now. He place a bottle full of iridescent light-blue liquid on the table and smirked as he poured it into two glasses, his eyes never leaving Renji.

He lifted one of the glasses to his lips and Renji copied him.

"Enjoy." Captain Hitsugaya tipped the liquid down his throat.

The drink burned like ice down Renji's throat and made his entire body quake with nervous energy.

"So," Shunsui said, pouring himself a glass, "got yer eye on someone special?"

"Yeah," the words slipped between Renji's lips before he could stop them, "but I haven't got a snowball's chance in hell with him."

Then it all went to hell after that.

"_Him_!?" Rangiku squealed.

"Who?!" Nanao demanded.

The first drops of rain splattered against the window pane and Renji shot up before Izuru could restrain him, "Look at that! It's raining, I better get home before it gets worse! You never know when... um... something'll happen and stuff! Haha, well, I gotta go. Had a lotta fun guys, we should do this again! ..." Renji was saying the first things that came to mind without caring whether they made sense or not.

The moment he made it out of the door he was running. Rain pelted his face and shoulders. He was only a few blocks away from his apartment when he heard feet splashing behind him. He ducked into a deserted alley and hopped over a fence, thinking Rangiku or Izuru might have followed him.

Renji squatted under the roof with his back to the wall, trying to avoid the droplets of water leaking over the gutter. He strained his ears and listened as the footsteps passed his hiding place and sighed in relief.

And that's when he heard something mewing in the darkness.

At first he jumped to his feet, Zabimaru in hand. After a moments speculation, though, he crossed the alley, ignoring the rain, and crouched down next to a ratty pile of clothes that was emitting sound.

That was how Renji acquired a kitten.

He didn't have any intention of bringing it home with him, but when he saw the poor thing quivering with cold and soaked to the bone, he couldn't help it. He picked the kitten up by the scruff of it's neck with a gentle hand and ensconced it in the folds of his uniform next to his bare chest—at least it would be a little dryer in there.

And what was the first thing the kitten did to thank him for saving its pitiful existence? It fucking clawed him!

If it hadn't been raining buckets on him Renji would have just let the damn animal fend for itself. Instead he grit his teeth and dug into his pocket for his keys.

The first thing Renji did when he let himself into his apartment was head for the bathroom. After closing the door behind him he dumped the kitten unceremoniously on the floor, turned the nozzle of the shower to hot and began to strip off his soaked uniform. He could hear the rain beating on the roof of the bathroom and saw steam rising from the water. He hummed with contentment as he thought of standing under it. Renji began to undo his belt.

The only thing that was missing here was a naked Captain Kuchiki beckoning him into the shower.

A commanding mewl reminded him of his new house guest. Renji paused his disrobing and looked down at the small ball of black fur. Big, dark eyes gazed pitifully up at him and the kitten shivered. Renji felt his heart melt. He lowered himself to the tiled floor and picked the kitten up and cradled it to his chest, "You're way too cute, little guy." he remarked ruefully, "and on that note..." Renji lifted the cat's tail. The cat made a squwacking sound in protest.

"Sorry little man!" Renji laughed as it batted at his hand with tiny claws, "I just had to make sure you weren't a chick. Me and the ladies don't exactly do the horizontal tango so well, if you know what I mean." Renji chuckled at the bewildered look the kitten was giving him and stood up. He pulled out his ponytail and let his hair fall in one big 'whooshing' motion.

Renji kicked off his pants and looked back at the kitten, who hadn't stopped staring at him with that wide-eyed look.

"What?" Renji said, "You hungry? I'll be out in a minute and I can get you something then, okay?"

By the time he stepped out of the shower—feeling utterly refreshed, the kitten was fast asleep on the fluffy white towel that Renji had _originally _planned to dry off with. Since he wasn't about to yank the towel right from underneath the cat, he had to journey out into the hall closet to get a new towel, which really wasn't that big of a deal.

By the time he had dried his hair and slipped on a clean pair of boxers, the kitten had wandered sleepily out of the bathroom. Renji scooped it up in one hand and smothered a yawn with the other.

"Bed-time, little man." he announced and threw back the coverings on his bed and set the kitten on it before crawling on himself. He flopped down on his side and lifted the covers over himself and the kitten. It was mildly amusing to watch the animal maneuver its way out of the sheets. Eventually the kitten curled up next to his heart and began to purr as cats often do when they are content.

And that's how Abarai Renji fell asleep.

Sometime later, most likely around three in the morning or so, for it was still dark, Renji awoke to a crash of thunder that shook his apartment. Uttering a curse, he turned back over in the bed. A little later he woke to the sounds of hail and rain pounding on his roof.

Renji snarled something nasty and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He swayed down the dark hallway by memory, still half-asleep. Lightening lit his way back to his room. And upon entering the doorway, the first thing he set eyes upon was the naked form of one Kuchiki Byakuya, gazing through half-lidded, sleep-muddled eyes at him from under the covers.

They just stood there for a moment, gazing stupidly at each other as the thunderstorm crashed outside around them.

As another earsplitting crash of thunder shook the room, Renji moved. Byakuya watched as his assistant captain crawled onto the bed and over him, a hunger burning in his eyes. He felt an electric thrill pulse through his body as Renji's burning lips brushed against his own and opened his mouth slightly in response.

Renji shivered in delight as Byakuya's hands tangled themselves in his loose hair and ran down his neck, tracing his tattoo's down his back and stomach. They always seemed to shy away from the one place Renji _wanted _them to touch, though.

But then again, he was glad for his Captain's shyness. It wasn't often that he was graced with dreams as good as this, and by god, he meant to enjoy himself and make it last while he could.

He pulled the covers off of the lower part of Byakuya's body, feeling his lower regions twitch in anticipation as his captain's erection was revealed. From then on all he would be able to remember was the delicious way Byakuya's body arched up into his with every stroke, and how his legs parted for him when Renji began to grind their lower bodies together, and the hot mouth sucking on his neck as Byakuya reached down between their bodies to pull at Renji's cock as Renji copied the favor for his captain.

"Ah, ah, Renji..." Byakuya's voice was laced with desire as he panted into Renji's ear.

"Mmm, Byakuya," Renji responded, his voice ragged with lust.

There was only that unbearable heat between them, sweat, and the rain pounding in time with the beating of their hearts as Byakuya came into Renji's hand and Renji followed him short after.

In the morning, Renji opened his eyes blearily and encountered a small pink note on the pillow just above the head of a dark haired man who lay wrapped in his arms.

The note read:

_I hope you had an "good night's rest". _

_By the way, you owe me fifty bucks. _

_-Love, Urahara Kisuke. _

The dark-haired man murmured something inaudible and turned over in Renji's arms to bury his head in the crook of Renji's shoulder. Contentedly Renji sighed and closed his eyes, unwilling to acknowledge the oddness of the entire situation.

A little more than ten minutes later, Renji would open his eyes to find Byakuya glaring at him with an expression that demanded answers—and demanded them _now_, dammit.

And that was how Assistant Captain Abarai Renji started a relationship with Captain Kuchiki Byakuya.

_Annnnd cut! I hope this made sense? (I haven't re-edited, so some sentences may sound just plain stupid, forgive me for that and TELL ME ABOUT IT DAMMIT!)_

_Ole Hat 'n' Clogs turned Byakuya into a kitten... you... you knew that right? ...sorry, I'm starting to have major doubts about my skill as a writer. _

_On another note... -snort- I said _cock_ -giggle- Would you believe I've never wrote that before? This is, like, my first lemon/lime?-ish fic, too! -celebration!-_

_I'm going to bed now... my stomach hurts... fun. D: whatever, ignore my griping_

_**Anyway, good/constructive/bad feedback (REVIEWS) is welcome with open arms and cookies and Hitsugaya Kittens, unless you're flaming for the pure joy of flaming and have no basis on which to criticize. **_


End file.
